


Losing Focus

by ABirdWhoSquawks



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-04-09 16:29:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABirdWhoSquawks/pseuds/ABirdWhoSquawks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Originally posted to fanfiction.net) Following a routine mission, two of the crystal gems begin to realize some feelings for their teammates. Will they be able to keep the team together after these revelations, or will they lose sight of what's important?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unwelcome Distractions

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Fokus Verloren](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356362) by [ABirdWhoSquawks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABirdWhoSquawks/pseuds/ABirdWhoSquawks)



> This fic was originally posted to my FF.net account on April 11, 2015, and can also be read here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11178512/1/Losing-Focus

With a resounding boom that shook the rock walls around them and released a cloud of smoke, the colossal creature disappeared, leaving only a cherry-red stone that fell to the charred ground where it previously stood. The black clouds overhead rapidly dissipated, allowing the sun again to light the side of the mountain with a warm glow.

“Woo-hoo! Goodbye, giant lizard thing!” Steven called out in exhilaration before a series of coughs stopped him.

“Are you sure you're alright, Steven?” Pearl said with concern in her voice as she walked back toward him, dismissing her spear in the process.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Steven brushed some ash off of his shirt. “Just a little singed!”

Amethyst let out a snort. “Hey Steven! Don't look now, but I think you're missing an eyebrow.”

“What? Aaah!” Steven's hands scrambled to his brow, desperately trying to assess the damage.

“Amethyst, please!” Pearl chided as Amethyst laughed. “Steven, your eyebrows are just fine.” she assured him. He chuckled as well.

A red sphere enveloped the stone lying on the ground. Garnet held it briefly, then sent it away to the temple. “Good work. Now let's go home.”

“You guys, that was so cool!” Steven still could barely hold his excitement as the group began to descend down the mountain path. “Amethyst, how you charged in like aaaahh! And then the lizard was like arrghhh! But before it could breathe fire on you, Garnet and Pearl jump in like whoosh! Hi-yah!” To this, he added a karate chop, a few punches, and a few more battle-related onomatopoeias.

“Yeah, or when Pearl did a whole somersault over it! Pretty awesome, right?” Amethyst joined in. Pearl smiled and blushed slightly at this. “...and then she almost landed on her face!” Pearl stopped smiling.

She turned her attention to the gem next to her. She smiled broadly as she spoke with a slight flutter in her voice. “Garnet, you were also pretty spectacular!”

“Don't forget Steven.” came her reply. “Without him, it would have been much harder.”

“Oh, yeah! Thanks, little man,” Amethyst said, “without your bubble I would have been toast!”

“We work as a team,” Garnet continued. “Don't forget that.”

\---

Amethyst tossed restlessly in her makeshift bed. She did not need the rest, but her difficulty in falling asleep was frustrating nonetheless.

_Ugh, why is this so hard?_ She thought to herself.  _Why can't I just sleep like normal?_

Her mind began to wander to the day's mission. A massive fire lizard scorching the countryside: simple, but fun. She chuckled as she remembered recklessly charging headfirst into battle while Pearl attempted to formulate a battle plan.

_Pearl got_ so _mad,_ Amethyst thought.  _She gets so cute when she's mad._ Still, the move would have gotten her in a lot of trouble, had Pearl not saved her. Upon retrospect, Amethyst realized that she  _had_ made quite a few mistakes, even more so than usual. 

_It's not_ my _fault that Pearl kept distracting me with all those fancy flips and tricks and sexy poses..._ She stopped herself as she came to a realization.

_Oh... Oh no._

_\---_

Pearl took a deep breath as she traced her feet along the fountain in her room. Her dance began slowly, just a few steps, before quickly picking up in speed and intensity. Her movements, though powerful, were executed with precision, and they cut through the air much like the sword in her hand. With a turn of her leg, she went into a pirouette, raising her sword high above her head. Halfway through, however, Pearl could feel herself losing focus. She furrowed her brow and tried to concentrate, but lost her balance and fell in an objectively ungraceful manner as her sword fell harmlessly beside her. 

“Ugh! What is wrong with me today?” Pearl wanted to scream, but instead sat down on the edge of the fountain and reflected.  _Maybe I just need to get into the right mindset,_ she thought. She began to clear her head, and she tried to regain her concentration.  _Think focus. Grace. Balance. Strength. Beauty. Garnet-- wait, what?_

She shook her head and came to a realization.

_Oh no._

 


	2. Unwanted Revelations

Reclining in his bed, Steven absentmindedly strummed his ukulele as he hummed a little tune to himself. It was a peaceful afternoon, to be sure. There were no missions to be run, Amethyst and Garnet were out somewhere, and Pearl was somewhere inside the temple. Even Connie was out of town. He sighed as he laid down his instrument. “Maybe I could go to the Big Donut and see how Sadie and Lars are doing.”

The sound of the temple door opening caught his attention. “Oh, Pearl! Hey, Pearl!” He rapidly descended the ladder from his loft to greet the Gem.

“Oh! Hello, Steven,” came her reply. “How are you?”

“A little bored, to be honest.” A thought popped into his head, sparking a bit of curiosity. “Oh, wait! Pearl, can you tell me something about gem culture?”

Pearl's eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh, of course! What would you like to learn about?”

“Do gems like each other in the same way like humans do?”

“'Like'?” Pearl replied, somewhat confused. “What do you mean?”

“You know, like, romantically and stuff!”

This caught her a little off-guard. “W-well, in short, yes.” She cleared her throat. “The human and gem cultures may be radically different in many respects, but love is one area where they are surprisingly similar.” Much to her chagrin, Pearl's thoughts were already starting to wander to her teammate. She desperately hoped that her blush didn't show. If Steven found out, she'd never hear the end of it. “Basically, gems experience attraction in much the same way that humans do. Naturally, there are some subtle differences, but... Anyway, why do you ask?” She said, apprehensively and drastically unprepared for what came next.

Steven, with a huge smile on his face, practically shouted at Pearl, “You have a crush on Garnet, don't you!?”

“W-what!?” Pearl's eyes widened in shock as she sputtered incoherently.

“I'll take that as a yes!”

“S-Steven, whatever would give you that idea?” Pearl laughed unconvincingly.

“You've been talking to her and staring at her and hanging out with her a lot recently.” He replied, his tone matter-of-fact. “Also, you get really nervous and flustered whenever she asks you anything. I thought it was kinda obvious.” He shrugged.

“Haha, r-really?” Pearl said, hopelessly trying to appear as casual as possible while in reality having the exact opposite effect.

“I mean, it's not hard to get why you like her!” Steven said. “I mean, she's strong, brave, caring, cool, really tall...” He gasped as an idea suddenly came to him. “Oh, you should totally go talk to her!”

“Absolutely not!” Pearl said in a distinctly non-casual manner.

“Aw! Well, if you're too shy, I can tell her for you!” He offered. “I think she's on the beach talking to Amethyst.” He opened the door and ran outside.

“Steven, no!” She yelled after him, now in full panic mode. For a few seconds, she stood paralyzed, unsure of what to do, before she chased after him.

“What I'm saying is that you've been acting different lately.” Garnet said to Amethyst. Even through her trademark stoicism, a trace of concern could be heard in her voice. “You haven't been yourself. I want you to know that you can talk to me.”

Amethyst kept her gaze focused on the setting sun, avoiding eye contact. “Really, G, I'm fine.” She sighed.

“Hold on, someone's coming.” Garnet pointed towards the house. Two figures were rapidly approaching.

“Hey, it's Steven!” Amethyst said. “And Pearl's chasing him? Oh man, this is gonna be good!”

“Garnet, Garnet!” He called out as he ran, breathing heavily. Pearl was gaining on him now, but he reached the other gems first. He spoke as quickly as he could, “Garnet! Pearl has a crush on you but she's too scared to ask you out and you guys would be really cute together and-” he stopped when Pearl frantically threw her hand over his mouth.

“What!?” Amethyst exclaimed.

“Steven, no!” Pearl said, shaking.

“Steven.” Garnet responded calmly. “You really shouldn't tell peoples' secrets like this without their permission.”

Steven removed Pearl's hand and noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. “Wait, Amethyst? Where are you going?” He ran after her, back towards the house, leaving Pearl and Garnet alone.

“Garnet, I-I...” Pearl could already feel her eyes welling up. _She must think I'm absolutely pathetic,_ she thought to herself.

“It's alright, Pearl.” Garnet placed a hand on her friend's shoulder and smiled gently. “I already knew.”

Pearl could only look downwards. She noted her tears already splashing onto the sand. “So...”

Garnet shook her head. “I'm afraid I don't see you in the same way.” She tipped Pearl's head upwards until they were looking each other in the eyes. “But you're still the best teammate one could ask for. I care about you very much; I want you to know that.”

Pearl had no more words to say. She brought her friend into a tight embrace and now wept openly.

“Amethyst, wait!” Steven's legs were burning, but he kept running to keep pace with the gem. “Where are you going?”

Amethyst tore through the front door to the house and back to the temple door. “Go away!”

Steven didn't heed her. Just as he could see the temple door starting to close, he put in one last burst of energy, stretching his arm out in front of him. The sides of the door stopped as they came into contact with Steven's arm, allowing him to force it open once again and follow inside.

Now that he was inside Amethyst's room, Steven walked more slowly, catching his breath. Towers of rubbish, furniture, broken appliances, and assorted knick-knacks, stretching to the ceiling, gave the chamber an imposing atmosphere, one that did not escape Steven as he walked through them, staring up at their considerable altitudes. He moved his gaze back downward, and it was not long before he found Amethyst.

She was lying face-down on a beat-up floral print couch, trembling slightly with ragged breaths. “Please go away...” She spoke hardly above a whisper.

“Amethyst, are you okay?” Steven asked with caution.

“Do I _look_ like I'm okay?” Her voice cracked as she responded and turned around to face Steven. Her disordered hair clung to the side of her already tear-stained face. She began to raise her voice. “ _First_ you break my heart and then you come in here to _mock me?”_

“Hey, I'm not trying to do anything like that!” he replied with a touch of indignation. Softening his tone, he continued, “Wait, break your heart?”

Amethyst also lowered her volume. “It's bad enough crushing on someone like Pearl. I mean, I guess I already knew I didn't have a chance with her, but hearing that she's got a thing for Garnet too?” She fell back onto the couch with a sigh. “It feels like a slap to the face.”

Steven was curious now. “Wait, _you_ like _Pearl?”_

“Of course I did!” Amethyst snapped. “She's graceful, kind, beautiful, intelligent... Everything I could never be.”

Steven gasped. “But you _are_ all of those things! Well, maybe not too graceful, but still!” He said. “Wait, but if you like Pearl, why are you always teasing and making fun of her?”

“Well, I... ugh, I don't know!” She shook her head. “Look, it's complicated, alright?

“If you say so.”

Neither of them spoke for a while.

“I think I'm gonna go.” Steven broke the silence. “I'm sorry, Amethyst.” He started walking towards the exit.

“Wait, Steven!” Amethyst called to him. “I'm sorry too.”

Steven smiled gently, then turned around and continued on his way.


	3. Incomplete Resolutions

 A satisfying click echoed against the cold walls of the cave room as Garnet slowly levitated the translucent prism down into it's place in the massive complex system of marble gears on the floor. A low, hollow groan sounded as it, slow at first but then rapidly accelerating, began to shift. Stephen felt dizzy at the convoluted movements, but as quickly as they started, they slowed to a halt.

“Excellent!” Pearl exclaimed. “With the silicate key in place, we won't have to worry about the system for another thousand years!”

“Ideally.” came Garnet's reply. “So long as nothing else disturbs it.”

The group exited the room into a large cavernous hall, sparsely lined by stone stalactites and crystal clusters. To their right, a massive pit led down into darkness; a pathway carved into the cave wall led its way down from the room at the top to the exit.

As they walked, Steven made note of Amethyst's relative silence. She had hardly said – or done – anything for the entirety of the mission. He walked back to her, leaving Pearl and Garnet in the lead as they talked.

“Amethyst?” Steven ventured. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.” she replied curtly.

Her tone of voice and despondent body language made it obvious to Steven that she wasn't, but he didn't press any further. He wondered to himself if she was still reacting to the revelations from over a week prior. _It's not like her to be so down for so long._

A deep rumbling cut his thoughts short. As the cave began to shake, clusters of stones and clouds of dust fell from above into the pit below.

“W-what is that?” Steven asked, the shakiness in his voice as much a product of the tremor as of anxiety.

He didn't need to wait long for an answer. The carved wall of the cave erupted in front of him as a pair of creatures stormed onto the pathway. Easily more than thrice his size, their thick, segmented, milky-white carapaces made intimidating forms only accentuated by their rows upon rows of squirming legs and an impressive set of clasping mandibles.

“Look out!” Garnet said, summoning her gauntlets as pearl readied her spear.

Streams of liquid shot towards Garnet and Pearl from the hissing creatures' mandibles, solidifying almost immediately and encasing the pair to their necks in solid pillars of rock.

“I can't move!” Pearl said, struggling desperately against the material.

Amethyst wasted no time in charging forward, whip at the ready. A shot from the foes forced her to the very edge of the pathway, nearly sending her off into the abyss, before she side-stepped back to solid ground. Cutting through the air, her black whip wrapped around the midsection of the creature that had attacked Pearl. Amethyst jumped on the hissing thing's back and held on to it tightly.

“Woo-hoo! Way to go, Amethyst!” Steven cheered from a distance. A shot from Amethyst's monster, now squirming and firing wildly with the gem on its back, landed at his feet, making him recoil.

In a stroke of inspiration, Amethyst summoned another whip and wrapped it around the creature's neck. Grabbing both ends like makeshift horse reins, she directed the still-firing thing to face its comrade. Sure enough, Amethyst's monster blasted the other into the rock wall, sending it into it's marbled-white gem in the process.

Bits of rock flew in all directions as Garnet burst out of her encasement, gauntlets raised. “Amethyst, now!” she shouted, her fist rocketing up to its target's jaw.

Amethyst dismounted the creature just as the uppercut hit. The monster hit the ceiling; only its gem hit the floor. The gems gave sighs of relief.

“Ooh, ooh! Can I bubble these ones?” Steven asked with excitement.

“Sure Steven.” Garnet said, approaching Pearl, still immobilized by the rock. “Hold still.”

Pearl still winced when the gauntlet hit the rock, but the structure cracked and crumbled harmlessly to her feet.

“Oh, thank you, Garnet!” Pearl thanked her. “Expertly handled with that uppercut, I might add.” She turned to her other companion. “And Amethyst! That was very...” she paused upon seeing the gem's downcast expression. “What's wrong?”

Amethyst huffed. “Nothing! I'm fine!” She turned and ran down the path, leaving a confused team behind.

“Oh...” Pearl said, now anxious about her friend.

\---

“Amethyst!” Steven called to his friend as he walked from the house down to the beach. She laid face-up by the water's edge, letting the tide slowly come up to her ankles.

“Hey, Steven,” came her tired reply. She did not sit up to look at him.

Frustrated, Steven walked directly beside the gem. “What's going on? You're stressing us all out! What's wrong?”

Amethyst did not respond.

“Come on, this isn't like you!” Steven could feel himself becoming more irritable. He took a few breaths and sat down next to her. “Is this about Pearl?”

Amethyst sat up suddenly. “Of course it is! Did you see her and Garnet on the mission today? They are, like, _totally_ a thing now!”

“What!?” he said, initially shocked, before he cocked his head in confusion. “Really? What do you mean?”

“Didn't you see them? Acting all buddy-buddy and affectionate and stuff?”

He shrugged.

Exasperated, she stood and continued. “I'm telling you, after you told Garnet, I'm sure she confessed her undying love and stuff!” With a glow of light, she transformed her body into Garnet's form, speaking in an only vaguely accurate impression of her. “Pearl, I too am hopelessly in love with you, but I have not been strong enough to say it. Let us ride into the sunset together.” Shape shifting again, she took the form of Pearl. “Oh, of course! Let us be together forever because we're absolutely _perfect!”_ By the end of her tirade, Amethyst was no longer trying to maintain her impression, but was shouting in her usual voice. She sat down again, letting out a noise of frustration. “I can't stand it!”

Apprehensively, Steven ventured some advice. “Amethyst, you're making less sense than usual, but if it's stressing you out so much, maybe it'd be better if you told the others and talked about your problems?”

 _“What!?”_ came Amethyst's explosive reply. “No! Pearl _can't_ know, that'd only make it worse!”

Steven failed to see how, but he thought back to last time, when he had told Garnet about Pearl without Pearl's permission. “If you say so.”

\---

Pearl sat at the trunk of what used to be her favorite tree. _It's a shame,_ she thought to herself, but she was still aware that the tree was not actually what was on her mind. Instead, she thought of her teammate and how... off she had been. _She really hasn't been herself lately,_ she thought. _I haven't seen her laugh or joke around or even smile. She's been distant._ The thought was disquieting at the very least. _No, not disquieting. More like worrying._ She traced her fingers around the rings of the tree absentmindedly.

_I miss her._


	4. Unexpected Conclusions

Pearl whisked the bowl of eggs absentmindedly. French toast was one of Steven's favorites, and cooking was relaxing for her, even therapeutic. She added precisely one teaspoon ground cinnamon, one quarter teaspoon ground nutmeg, two tablespoons sugar, four tablespoons melted butter, one quarter cup of milk, and one half teaspoon vanilla extract. As she prepared the mixture, her mind began to wander. Maybe she's feeling lonely or ignored, she pondered, coating the bread. Sure, we haven't exactly fought in a while, but for that matter, we've hardly talked at all for the past week! The bread hit the pan, quickly beginning to sizzle.  
The aroma of French toast on the skillet was unmistakable to Steven, even as he slept. With a yawn, he quickly came to and began to get up out of his bed. Spotting the gem in the kitchen below, he greeted her. “Good morning, Pearl!” Noticing Garnet entering through the front door, he greeted her as well as he descended the staircase. “Good morning, Garnet!”  
“Morning.” said Garnet, her voice plain but warm as she headed over to the couch.  
“Good morning, Steven! I hope you're hungry.” Pearl called out from the stove, though her thoughts where otherwise occupied. She must be feeling so unloved! That does it,she thought with conviction, by the end of the day, Amethyst will feel loved.  
As if on cue, the temple door opened to reveal Amethyst, yawning loudly. Pearl noted how much she had been sleeping the past few days; she still looked so tired.  
I'm going to say something to her. Pearl opened her mouth. “Good morning, Amethyst! I'm very glad to see you this morning!”  
This prompted no response from Amethyst, who simply continued walking. Garnet looked up from the couch; Steven bit into his french toast.  
Was that too artificial? Maybe I'm not being friendly enough. Pearl tried once more. “Y-you look really nice today. Did you do something with your hair?” She kicked herself mentally. That might have been a bit much.  
Amethyst stopped in her tracks. Wordlessly, she turned around and ran back to her room.  
“Amethyst, wait!” Forgetting his breakfast, Steven started after her, but was stopped by a firm hand.  
“No.” Garnet knelt down by the boy and looked him in the eyes. “Steven, I know you want to help. It's good that you're so compassionate,” she smiled at Steven, who smiled in return. “but this isn't your problem to solve. Pearl needs to handle this one.” The pair looked to the other gem, who was still staring at the temple door with a blank expression, entirely ignoring the second batch of french toast now burning in the skillet.  
Still shocked, Pearl sputtered. “W-what? But I-”  
“Pearl.” Garnet said in a stern voice.  
A few seconds passed. “Yes, of course.” Pearl relented.  
\---  
Though she walked slowly through the cavern, Pearl's thoughts were racing. What did Garnet mean by that? How on Earth is Amethyst's behavior my fault? I mean, yes, she did just react to my words specifically, and the same happened in the cave... Worry started to set in. Wait, what if this is all my fault? Maybe I'm the reason why she's been so distant lately. She stopped. I can't bear to see her like this. I just hope I can get her back.  
It wasn't long before Pearl found who she was looking for. Amethyst had wrapped herself in an old duvet, but Pearl did not find it difficult to recognize her.  
“Amethyst?” Pearl kept her voice as gentle as she could. “Are you alright?”  
“Amethyst needs her sleep and has formed the sleep burrito. Stop talking to her.”   
Pearl sighed. “Amethyst, please. Tell me what's going on.” The burrito shifted slightly. “If I've done anything wrong, please tell me!”   
The next few moments passed very slowly; Amethyst crawled a little out from under the duvet, the distress evident on her face. “Pearl,” she said, her voice creaking, “I don't know if you're trying to get at me or something, but whatever you're doing, it's not funny.”  
Pearl blinked in surprise.  
“Look, I get that you're happy with Garnet. I'm trying to be glad, I really am, but I can't stand you ignoring me like this!” she said, slowly getting louder.  
Pearl was lost. With Garnet? Ignoring you? She shook her head. “Amethyst, I-”  
“And what was with you just now, being all flattering and junk? Were you teasing me? Trying to make me jealous?” Her voice cracked.  
A distressing mix of concern, confusion, and frustration rushed through Pearl's head; she tried once more to get a word in edgewise. “Amethyst--!”  
By this point, Amethyst was practically screaming. “Because it's working!” The pair fell silent. Barely above a whisper, Amethyst continued, her voice choked, “I hate it. I can't not fall for you, P, and I can't stand it.” She sniffed. “I just don't want to get hurt.”  
Pearl's head was swimming. Everything Amethyst said, though shocking, made no sense. Rather than try to reconcile the disorienting thoughts in her own mind, she took a deep breath and knelt down to the other gem's level. “Amethyst, I had no idea that you were so upset about this.”   
The trembling Amethyst gave no verbal response.  
“And for the record, Garnet and I are not together.” Pearl was surprised by how little it hurt to say. That tearful night on the beach felt so far away now. “I'll be honest, I'm not sure where you got that impression.”  
Amethyst looked up. “What?”  
“And I wasn't trying to tease you. I was trying to reconnect with you.” A hand lighted on Amethyst's shoulder. “We've been so distant, I...” Her eyes began to well up. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”  
Amethyst didn't respond, but reached forward and grabbed her. Holding Pearl as close and tight as she could, Amethyst felt her reciprocate the embrace. Her tears falling onto Pearl's shoulder, Amethyst spoke softly.  
“I missed you too.”


End file.
